CHEESY LAWYER JOKES

What’s the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalos?

A lawyer charges more.

What do you call 10,000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start.

Did you hear about the new sushi bar that caters exclusively to lawyers?

It’s called Sosumi.

Why don't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.

How does an attorney sleep?

First, he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.

How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

His lips are moving.

What’s wrong with lawyer jokes?

Lawyers don’t think they’re funny and other people don’t think they’re jokes.

How many lawyer jokes are in existence?

Only three. All the rest are true.

Why did the law student go to court wearing a shirt with no sleeves?

Because he had the right to bare arms.

If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning, and you could only save one of them… would you go to lunch or read the paper?

My girlfriend told me I was a bad attorney… I couldn’t defend myself.